Nothing seems to be entirely satisfactory to me right now. This is the kind of phase I often, perhaps always, dread. The phase when I feel like I'm sitting in a box flying through space at a very slow rate, surrounded by an amplified sound of a drone.
Satiety is something that leads one to comfort, right?
Why is it that I am always looking for this comfort?
Is it that I cannot function if I don't feel comfortable?
Does that also mean that when I am functioning well and productively, that I am comfortable?
There may be different kinds of comforts, that's for sure.
But this feeling of uneasiness where I feel like there a million knots in my chest and that each finger on my hands is being pulled by separate strings into different directions is what I find most uncomfortable.
There has to be a way to channel this feeling of being pulled by my core at the same time as being pulled by unknown, powerful external forces which seem to exist all around me, in different directions.
This conflict.
I know it exists.
But I only recognize its existence.
I can't recognize its form, strength or its meaning.
I am at peace.
Perhaps not entirely.
Perhaps I still have a long way to go until I recognize all the forces that surround me, and all the forces I contain, within myself.
Perhaps there really is much more to 'reality' than I take for granted.
Satiety is something that leads one to comfort, right?
Why is it that I am always looking for this comfort?
Is it that I cannot function if I don't feel comfortable?
Does that also mean that when I am functioning well and productively, that I am comfortable?
There may be different kinds of comforts, that's for sure.
But this feeling of uneasiness where I feel like there a million knots in my chest and that each finger on my hands is being pulled by separate strings into different directions is what I find most uncomfortable.
There has to be a way to channel this feeling of being pulled by my core at the same time as being pulled by unknown, powerful external forces which seem to exist all around me, in different directions.
This conflict.
I know it exists.
But I only recognize its existence.
I can't recognize its form, strength or its meaning.
I am at peace.
Perhaps not entirely.
Perhaps I still have a long way to go until I recognize all the forces that surround me, and all the forces I contain, within myself.
Perhaps there really is much more to 'reality' than I take for granted.
